Holy shit.. Home.. I’m actually finally in a place that I can call home. I don’t have a garage, storage area, or even all of my shit from life, but here I am sitting on a couch next to my gal with my pup at my heels. Something I have never truly believed would happen has happened. For the entirety of my adult life I have been on the run. I have been running from so many things; my nightmares, the loss of good brothers, not understanding how to cope with life, bad relationships, and most often times myself. For the longest time I had no idea how to operate as a civilian, and what’s more had no idea that I had no idea. Yet now here I sit with no place to go and no plan to get there. I am without a doubt more in the moment right now than I have ever been. Not to be emotional but never in my life did I think I would be here; sharing a home with someone I love let alone be alive at 32. In my last post I spoke to real life. I spoke to things smelling like shit and that we can’t hide ourselves from reality. Well I am here to tell you that sometimes hiding ourselves from reality also keeps us from enjoying joy and happiness that often times we believe we don’t deserve. How does someone who has committed so many “wrongs” in life deserve to be happy? This very question was posed to me by a very close and dear friend of mine. The answer I had then was one that I thought was right. I told my friend that at the end of the day, all of the trials and tribulations we have faced happened, and because of that we can assist others in not having to deal with those same issues. Unfortunately that simply isn’t the case. No matter how hard we try we can’t stop folks from making bad choices. We can’t take away misery, pain, or heart ache. That is real life. That is something we can’t ignore. However no matter how many pains we endure or “wrongs” we commit we still have a right to happiness.
I have for the longest time believed I would never truly be happy. That I would always be on the road living out of my truck and that for whatever reason karma would chase me to my grave. Most recently I had a guy tell me that the bike ride was an inspiration and that my last write up was something that inspired him further. What I didn’t get a chance to tell him was that his dedication was my inspiration. Heroes are born daily. Most often they don’t even realize the impact they make in other’s lives. The day I was told I was an inspiration I found another hero. It was the guy who made the decision to change his entire life in order to provide support to those who need it.
I say this to let you know without a doubt that happiness is a real thing. That same mentality of living without fear and chasing your dreams doesn’t change. Standing up for what you believe, striving to achieve your dreams, and living in the moment is something we have to dedicate our lives to. It’s something that actually requires work. You don’t just wake up one day and have the magical unicorn which shits rainbows and pisses sparkles to have arrived and made life better. It takes work. Very hard work.
So with that I say to get up and move. Take a stand, make a plan, and stop letting comfort, worry and fear dictate your life. Look to your left and right at this very moment and ask yourself if you’ve lived a life deserving of the things around you. If the answer is no, then it should be your daily mission to earn what’s around you. If the answer is yea then congratulations, you’re the rarity and apparently have done some spectacular things in your life.